


is physical information lost to him?

by shepromisestheearth



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Angst, M/M, black holes, prompt from escapril
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:14:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24094153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shepromisestheearth/pseuds/shepromisestheearth
Summary: Kirk remained skeptical, knuckles locking into the crevice of his chin. Parting glances, given to eyes that resembled impossibility. Theories of what would happen- the demolition of a world, debris slipping into that pit of darkness. Gentle smiles in the lift to the first officer, hand on his shoulder. That fabled Tartarus has become him, and there was no telling if the grasp he maintained was to claw his way out or in. It may have meant he would be spat out lukewarm into the vacuum, fated to be meaningless-kirk asks if spock has ever been in love.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock
Kudos: 15





	is physical information lost to him?

**Author's Note:**

> Kate? posting fanfic? insane concept i know. recently joined a writing discord and we loosely participated in escapril- this is the one fan fiction i wrote during that time, the prompt being “black holes.” i hope you all enjoy, and i hope you’re all being safe during this time.

Though not a comforting one, it was absolute that there were things that would never be known to him. Though he grasped at straws, he would never know the true beginning of time or this universe. No matter how far into the cosmos they went, if they met God themself; he would be unable to comprehend such knowledge, his tongue falling lifelessly from his skull and eyes succumbing to blindness. How far did the cosmos reach? And where was God within them? No matter the textbooks, it was all theory and undefinable. 

The commander had told him something in the escape pod about impossibility. Hand wavering over the button, lips brushing against the microphone. His voice was cracking and popping like grease, but it would have composed if not for the compression of sound waves. He reminded the captain that there had been a day where black holes were nothing more than a faint legend to Terrans, a great secret of the universe until the first shutter flash. Glowing around the edges, scientists all those years ago coddled the negative like an infant. It was an unknown, suddenly known. And that made all else undefinable. Time became figment, and was molded like putty in man’s hand. 

If there was a hope in that, and it was the first time he used the word, was there not in other things? 

Kirk remained skeptical, knuckles locking into the crevice of his chin. Parting glances, given to eyes that resembled impossibility. Theories of what would happen- the demolition of a world, debris slipping into that pit of darkness. Gentle smiles in the lift to the first officer, hand on his shoulder. That fabled Tartarus has become him, and there was no telling if the grasp he maintained was to claw his way out or in. It may have meant he would be spat out lukewarm into the vacuum, fated to be meaningless. 

It was once where he stood there, said his name. Indicating that he had heard the Captain, Spock tilted his head on its axis to meet him. The words followed slick, “Have you felt love towards another person?” 

The eyes, reflecting near orange in the overhead lights, moved to the screen displaying the time until they would reach their quarters. Thirty seconds. He splayed his lips, rested his eyes on the glossy flooring. Never once had he grasped the lifts handles, the translation of a kiss too much to bear. Arms behind his back, Kirk was sure he didn’t want to answer the question and too polite to say so. 

“It was a silly question.” Kirk said. Stupidly, his fingertips pressed the seam of his sleeve. He pulled back immediately, cursing himself. The doors slid open, and with it, Spock ejected himself from the lift. 

A buzz erupted from the door, and Spock spun on his heel to face his captain. Hands steepled now, Kirk had never seen his eyes so large. It made his mind conjure a younger version of the man standing before him; someone more unsure than the person he was now. It was something that seemed another impossibility, but he knew at some point it must have been true. 

“I cannot say for certain. Though I would prefer to ignore its existence.” He said simply, as though it would leave less questions. His eyes slipped away, and all of him followed. 

Kirk’s hands were splayed apart from his body in the corridor, hand on the intersection of two doors. He was sure he saw his disheveled reflection at the end of the hallway. Smoothing back his hair, he blinked until the image vanished. Irrevocably, he would find himself there again. He would always find himself by his bedside, blood blossoming from his chest. McCoy has encouraged him not to, because he knew. Leave him be. 

By now, the debris was nearly all inside of him. The supernova would accept no more, eyes shut. 

He was leaning too far forward. He knew this because he could see every eyelash attached to Spock’s eyelids, the pores on his nose. In the confusion, he must’ve blinked one from his eye, and it laid on his ghostly cheek. A coal in the snow bed. 

Like a creaking door hinge, his voice came, “Jim?” 

All of the muscles in his face tensed, drawing himself back. His hand was resting on the blanket, in the midst of tucking him in. Like the child he saw in the hallway. And he was nothing of that now. Why did he find it impossible to leave the care of him to another? Perhaps deep down he knew why, he knew why the points and strings of the universe led him back each time. Why each time, when he fell into arms, they were his. 

“Yes?” 

“Your question has remained with my conscience.” He had no idea of the wisp on his face, and his eyes moved to hover on the surface of Kirk, “Why did you ask it?”

Kirk’s thumb pressed again his skin, and he brought it back to glance at the eyelash, “Terran schoolchildren wish on these, when they fall onto their face,”

“What are you going to wish for?” 

“It’s yours to wish on. And you’re not to tell me- then it won’t come true.” 

Spock looked like he entertained the thought, as Kirk extended the lash to him, “It is illogical to wish for things.” 

“Maybe.” Kirk smiled. 

He blew on the eyelash, closing his eyes again. They remained closed even after his eyebrow relaxed, but he had already captured him whole. Regardless of the type of matter which goes into a black hole, it appeared that only information concerning the total mass, charge, and angular momentum was conserved.


End file.
